Interesting Assignments

I was recently asked to reflect on the tasks I assigned in my writing courses at AUB and decide, which of them could be considered as "interesting". This question was one of the hardest for me to answer mainly because I’ve given such a wide variety of odd assignments in my Eng 102, 203, and 204 classes, all of which I feel particularly attached to. So as I rummaged through my notes, I decided that since there were a multiple worth mentioning, I might as well blog about them:

To begin with, after explaining fallacies to my 203 and 204 students, I once asked them to listen to a few Lebanese news stations and identify some of the fallacies they notice our very own politicians making in their everyday speeches and public appearances. My students thought this activity was incredibly humorous especially when they found that they were able to explain how these fallacies weakened the credibility of our alleged leaders.

The discussions also heated up when, after having mastered the art of Macro-blogging via various informal entries that I had asked 203 students of mine to submit on a collective Wordpress account, I introduced them to its antithesis: Micro-blogging. For the purpose of this interaction, I had relied on Twitter as a social media platform as the 140-character restriction meant that my students had to make convincing arguments and counterarguments for the controversial statements I was tweeting about keeping in mind that each tweet could not exceed a single sentence. Brevity proved to be a lot more of a difficult task than they had anticipated, especially when, in one of our debates, the entire blogosphere began to join in and interact with us from all across the globe (I left the privacy option unticked on purpose), unexpectedly making the hashtag we used in our debates the top trending topic in Lebanon for that day.

Travis Louie's "Otis True"

Our eccentric discussions did not end there, however, as I began compiling some of the most uncanny and disturbing fantasy/horror/surrealist paintings and videos, showcasing them one after the other making my 102 students write journals reflecting on what meaning they could excavate from the eerie images they were being exposed to. In one of them, I asked them to contemplate what Travis Louie’s expressionless “Otis True” (photo on the right) did for a living. 

In a different activity, I asked them to wonder why a man would remove his skin for his partner just as though it were no different than a jacket he was unzipping -- as depicted in the short symbolist macabre film He took his skin off for me[1]. However, the most surprising and creative journals I received were those reacting to a nursery rhyme[2] that I made my students watch in class. This cartoon was one of my 10-month-old son’s favorites and to be quite frank: I had no idea what more to understand from it than what the catchy refrain said: “There are no monsters who live in our home, there’s only me and my family;” I honestly just wanted to see how they’d react to it. Funnily enough, it was truly inspiring to witness firsthand just how creatively analytical my students were: Many had argued that they thought the greater statement being made was how I’m showing them this cartoon to stress the point that our classroom is a safe haven where they can feel comfortable enough to express themselves, as the greatest fears that exist often only exist in our own minds, and thus, it’s within our ability to control and surpass them.

On another occasion, I had the pleasure of inviting male belly-dancer, Moe Khansa, to perform in our class and discuss his passion for the art of movement and dance. I’ve also invited Jean Assy, a web developer and passionate political enthusiast, to share his testimony with my class regarding the issue of freedom of speech by describing the day he made local and international headlines[3] for being the first Lebanese citizen to receive a prison sentence for tweets of his that criticized the former president, Michel Sleiman. What was personally so educational for me, wasn’t learning that there were two sides to those equations; inevitably it was expected that some of my students would support Moe and think that he should keep belly-dancing even though he is a male, while others, I’m certain, wanted him dead. Similarly with Jean, there was no doubt that some of my students wanted him to continue being the beacon of truth, while others probably felt he went too far. However, and as I mentioned before, those were results I was anticipating anyway. What I wasn’t expecting at all, however, was something particular to the case of Jean. At the time, there was one tiny little detail that I omitted, which made all the difference regarding the sincerity of the content of my students’ essays, and that detail is the fact that Jean was (and still is) my partner. With that fine print in mind, it took all the patience and meditative powers in the world for me to curl up a 90 on the paper of a student who successfully argued why the jail sentence, for my significant other, was fair. I hated myself for it, but I did it. It was then that I realized my students had taught me one of the most valuable life lessons I still carry in my heart to this day: A difference in opinion, isn’t always a bad thing. I don’t have to like an argument that strongly goes against something I passionately feel and believe in, but I am, at all times, always expected to approach it with an open mind, and respect it. And really, there’s no greater joy than doing so with fellow learners who equally respect you right back, just the same.

________________________________

[1] Direct link to video: https://vimeo.com/116498390
[2] Direct link to video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt0S0QNwxdo
[3] For the full story: http://m.naharnet.com/stories/en/118400-jean-assy-sentenced-for-insulting-suleiman-on-twitter

Light & Easy 5-minute Postmodern Poem!

~ Ingredients:

• Any novel of your choice
• Laptop* 

*preferably one equipped with MS word though any other note-taking device/notebook would do

~ Directions: 

• Preheat* your brain to 180° C 
• Flip through the pages of your novel and pause abruptly at a random page. Choose 5 subjects from this page. 
• Repeat experiment, and this time choose 5 verbs from the randomized page you landed on.
• Repeat one last time and finally, select 5 objects from this page.
• Try to blend together as many words as you can from the lists you just compiled.
• Enjoy the nonsense that results! :)

*You can do this in a number of ways: 

1) Pick up a random novel (or choose one you've already started on) and read 5-10 pages from it. 

2) Peruse The Daily Star, Huffington Post, The New York Times, or any other online/print newspaper.

3) Dig into your Twitter/Facebook feed. 

Bottom line? Get those juices in your brain nicely flowing and all warmed up in any way possible.

Below is my own experimentation:

the dog is hiding from me

so my pocket-knife begins to whisper:

the baloney just lies there;

why are we out of coffee?

I realize it’s raining, but no scarf to wear.

The humming birds outside are bathing and scratching,

in my dreams, the smurfs smile in the snow.

The pope must vacuum too, it’s creepy --

Heat is lovely but does it achieve?

Why do we have only one tree yet many cherries?

Even tulips slowly swindle me as the sunshine penetrates:

Shall I rise?

The pacific ocean passionately tears for cancer,

I ponder about surfing in the grains of sand --

I must create…so…

I live on paper.

*Why not give this experiment a try and share in the comments section below the result of your *own* experimentation!? :)

When it just doesn’t fit…the requirements

Something amazing happens to a mother, who, a short few months after delivering her baby, notices she is still able to fit into all of her pre-pregnancy clothes: she gets cocky.

So she brings out that tight-fitting cocktail dress she bought before she got married and decides “Hey! I can work this satin and make it sparkle”. Undoubtedly, the zipper gets stuck, and sure enough, the finger-pointing begins:

• The people at the dry cleaner’s must’ve over-washed it and shrunk it (though it mysteriously remains the same length at the bottom).
• The store must’ve moved the pins around and made the dress tighter than agreed upon immediately after the purchase (though the pins strangely remain in their assigned positions and do not appear to be misplaced).
• Better yet, perhaps the size re-adjustment was correct, and no error occurred at the dry cleaner’s but the dress simply, for reasons that defy logic or justification, didn’t maintain its proper measurements because it’s been resting in the closet for too long.

And so the excuses go on, until all possible reasons are exhausted and validated except for that one undeniably taboo, completely unlikely, and undyingly heretical supposition that, *wait for it*, the person trying on the dress simply no longer has the “required figure” to pull it off.

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, that cocky, over-ambitious, scapegoat-hunter, happens to be me. Or rather was me until I had a sudden and critical epiphany: Why blame others for a problem that essentially, and unquestionably, I can only hold myself responsible for? Once I allowed my ego to dissolve, little by little, I was finally able to wrap my head around the possibility that maybe, just maybe, I’m the reason that zipper won’t defy Einsteinian and Newtonian hypotheses; maybe *I* simply don’t fit in that dress anymore. And that’s okay.

And that’s when my students immediately came to my mind.

So many times, students of mine would complain that they’re so sure of their efforts, and as a result, their essays cannot be considered anything less than A+ quality work. This would continue to happen even when some of their papers would be presented lacking proper research, citations, and professional formatting…I would often encourage these students by telling them they’ve improved SO much since the beginning of the semester. I would praise how far they’ve gotten and try to make them feel incredibly proud of their A- work. But if there’s one thing everyone knows about AUB students, it’s this: their “perfectionist” reputation precedes them. They don’t want the A-, they want the A. In fact, they become so desperately fixated on that complete score that if ever the grade they receive happens to be just a smidge below an A, judgments would start flying through the air:

• The teacher hates me.
• The teacher has a grudge against me because of that one time I came late to class.
• The teacher doesn’t actually read our essays, but grades based on favoritism.
• Or my personal favorite: I’m too “religious” and “ungay” for my “hippie open-minded” teacher. 

Strangely enough, I get where the resentment and indignation come from. When you’ve been working so hard at something knowing you’ve given it your best shot day in and day out, you simply CANNOT accept the possibility that *you* have fallen short -- if and when the results don’t turn out the way you expected them to. And that’s when the blame-game begins.

I used to be a gym-rat before my pregnancy and even after my delivery, I continued to maintain a super healthy diet and exercise routine (as much as the little man allowed me to, anyway). I’ve shed most of the pounds I put on, and the fact that I can fit into all of my pre-pregnancy clothes is the perfect testimony to that fact. However, even with that feat in mind, for whatever reason, that cocktail dress still pulls tightly against my torso at the moment. Perhaps there really was a problem with the tightening of the dress. Then again, keeping in mind the efficient Occam Razor problem-solving principle that states the simplest explanation is often the truest one: perhaps that simply implies that even though I have indeed lost a lot of weight, I could still afford to lose just a bit more.

The effort is evident, but it’s not enough, and really, what’s so offensive about that? It doesn’t mean I won’t ever fit into that dress again; it simply means I need to practice and work more to make it happen.

It may have taken a long lilac dress that’s a bit too snug on my waist now to realize it but I finally get it: When in doubt, don’t blame the cake; blame the baker*.

*then eat the cake.

**then burn it off during cardio.

***and repeat.

An Entomological Study of Writers: Which Insect Best Describes Your Writing Style?

to Kifri: thank you for sharing your world of bugs with me

I have a special kind of fondness for bugs. And spiders. And snakes. I like them big or small, terrifying or cute, and even deadly or harmless. I’ve always said insects are better than people, and with good reason. There is a certain order to the natural world; a specific series of “unspoken rules” that all living beings respect and abide by. These rules can neither be broken nor can they be clumsily compromised as a result of someone’s careless whims and impulses. Patterns exist. Habits can be observed and studied. And as a result, conclusions can be accurately derived and documented detailing the unique nature and particular mannerisms of each kind of species. 

Humans are not as predictable. But they do, on occasion, follow a certain set of behavioral trends. And though specialists like psychologists and psychiatrists have conducted numerous case studies in order to try to understand and rationalize various types of idiosyncratic human traits, a more interesting experiment, in my humble opinion, would be to conduct an entomological taxonomy of writers. In fact, I have recently come to discover – through my passion for insects – that writers actually can kinda sorta be like some kind of bugs in some occasions. To be more specific, here is my classification of the top four “classical” types of bug-like writers: 

1) The Diversionist Writer:

a) Devil’s Flower Mantis. Being known for having dull colors since birth, but very bright ones upon maturation into the adult phase, the Devil’s Mantis is basically a timid little shadow-dweller. It won’t actually attack you or come at you like a true warrior but rather get into this majestic stance only once it feels threatened. If truly provoked, its naturally instinct is to run away (Devil’s Flower Mantis, 2016). Did you ever write bold courageous posts but…while using a pseudonym? Then this little critter probably describes you best.

b) Camouflaged Looper. What’s more “low-key” than putting on a fake show? Becoming the fake show yourself! The Camouflaged Looper is by far one of the most special bugs you’ll ever encounter – if you’re ever fortunate enough to come across one. Most caterpillars are camouflaged by default in order to appear as similar as possible to the flowers/petals their parents laid eggs on. Some change their appearance based on diet or location. But these guys design their entire outfit (so-to-speak) entirely from scratch. They will even take bits and pieces of petals and leaves from neighboring plants and flowers and pluck them into their own skin, then continuously replace them the second the leaves begin to wilt, all simply to blend in and further direct attention away from themselves (Harness, 2016). A writer of a similar nature would emulate the different writing patterns he comes across in his career in an approval-seeking fashion all because he would be simply too worried about having and expressing his own style.

2) The Ostentatious Writer:

a) Peacock Spider. The Peacock Spider is a very colorful species that has a flap-like abdomen, which it raises upwards during mating. It also utilizes its third pair of legs for this reason and begins shaking and vibrating its entire body while moving side to side in a very lavish performance intended at seducing his potential mate. (To watch a nifty video of this spider’s dance, click here) (Palermo, 2016). So if you’ve ever done the exact opposite of our first category of bugs (The Diversionists) – that is to say if you’ve ever flaunted your previous degrees, accomplishments, and celebrity status in your domain fearlessly drawing more attention to your current status/work/position – then you probably share ancestral traits with this bug.

b) Elvis Presley Shield Bug. Though the Elvis Bug has similar behavioral habits, it is interesting to note that while the Peacock Spider uses its appearance to lure the ladies in, the Elvis Bug unintentionally ends up pushing potential predators away based on the simple fact that this insect is also more commonly referred to as the Pentatomoidea Bug/Giant Shield Bug, otherwise infamously known as the Stink Bug (Prigg, 2012). So lesson learned: if you are trying to ride the glory train all because of your past achievements (whether writing-related or not), that’s great and all, and it will draw an “audience” in. But when that happens, just make sure your current position doesn’t…well…stink.

3) The Audacious Writer:

a) Hercules Beetle. Some of you may neither need an alias nor a fancy repertoire to sell your writing for you ahead of time. So, if you fancy labeling yourself as an intrepid communicator who is never afraid of expressing him/herself regardless of the consequences involved, then you certainly identify with this bug. This critter belongs to the family of Rhinoceros Beetles and is one of the largest species of beetles in existence. It is also said to be one of the most powerful creatures on earth; unique in its ability to carry at least 850 times its own body weight (Hercules Beetle, 2016). A writer with such abilities is a determined writer able to face, accept, and overcome challenges far more demanding and difficult than most people can handle. 

b) Brazilian Treehopper. Like their colleagues the Hercules Beetles, these bugs just like being themselves. This species has been around for at least 40 million years and has never been at risk of making it to the endangered species list. These odd-looking bugs tend to hang around only the tops of trees and feed on the saps of leaves. Not only do they aim high, they are also – in a sense – indifferent to attention. On their thorax, they have three circular balls, the purpose of which entomologists, to this day, are still absolutely clueless about. Another interesting fact about them is how they are able to find the healthy balance between leading a private quiet life, while simultaneously sharing their world with others. For instance, when they lay eggs, often times ants would take care of them and protect them while the Brazilian Treehoppers, in return, would produce honey-dew for these baby-sitter ants. So though they do keep to themselves, these bugs take pride in being different even if they’re never understood realizing that a successful relationship with fellow vermin involves a good deal of symbiosis (Deitz & Wallace, 2011). As it appears, the analogy can also be extended to their writer-doppelgangers: if others leave them useful feedback, writers would feel more inclined to go about continuing their current habits.

4) The Adaptive Writer:

a) Happy-Face Spider. More scientifically known as Theridion Grallator, this insect earned its nickname due to the strikingly bizarre smiley-face pattern on its back. We can judge this book by its cover (or rather this spider by its smiling back) as it is both incredibly tiny (5 millimeters), and completely harmless to humans. Scientists are recently starting to believe that its patterns are so uncanny precisely for the sake of confusing their predators. As the latter try to figure out if what they’re seeing is their next lunch or just an eccentric object they shouldn’t pay attention to, this little critter buys itself a few extra minutes it can use to run away and escape (British scientists study Hawaiian happy face spider, 2009). In a sense, you could say it blends in by blending out or rather by going against the dictum of conformity. Just as these bugs are currently at the risk of going extinct, so are the writers they correspond to. Not all authors know when to swim with the tide and when to go against it. And of course those who risk it all too soon and at the worst of times…drown, to say the least.

b) Giraffe Weevil. The reason I saved this particular species for last is because I personally see myself mostly identifying with this particular fascinating little bug. The narcissist in me would love to pat myself on the back and claim that this is the case because it seems to represent goodness through the golden mean but it doesn’t. Not for me anyway. So let’s discuss its specs then: Unsurprisingly, it gets its name from its unusually long neck. This insect is also sexually dimorphic, which is fancy wording to simply mean that the male Giraffe Weevils are distinctively different from their female counterparts. In this case, the male weevil’s neck is three times as long as the female’s. While the male uses its neck to fight off other males and compete for the best female, the female lays a single egg then uses her neck to roll the egg in a leaf, which serves the dual purpose of both protecting it against hungry predators, and providing the hatchling with a healthy vegetarian snack once its born. That said, the giraffe bug, like its next-of-kin the actual giraffe animal, seems to have natural selection to thank for that usefully long neck (Nathan, 2016). 

Let’s recap then: we have writers who: (1) avoid attention; (2) crave attention desperately; (3) are bold enough to speak their mind irrespective of whatever attention it does or does not get them; and lastly (4) writers who learn to balance out what attention they ought or not be getting. 

So why do I personally feel most comfortable associating myself with the Giraffe Weevil? It all had to do with our famous English naturalist and geologist: Charles Darwin and his theory of evolution by natural selection, which basically comprises four tenets: “(1) More individuals are produced each generation that can survive; (2) Phenotypic variation exists among individuals and the variation is heritable; (3) those individuals with heritable traits better suited to the environment will survive; (4) when reproductive isolation occurs new species will form” (as cited in McClean, 1997). Otherwise stated, the creatures that tend to survive in the wild are those who eventually find themselves able to adjust to their surrounding habitat and environment. 

That’s said, the evolution by natural selection is a good postulate to mull over and revisit time to time no matter what bug you decided represents your writing persona. Ultimately, to survive in this harsh world, you should give a little/take a little while learning that in order to make it to the next generation you must not completely destroy your “original self” but instead simply morph into “a self” that is able to successfully mesh and coexist with others in this overly critical ecosystem. After all, if evolution taught us anything it’s this: It’s never about suffocating your writing voice, but rather understanding how to tune it.

References

• British scientists study Hawaiian happy face spider. (22 Apr. 2009). The Telegraph. Retrieved from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/5199409/British-scientists-study-Hawaiian-happy-face-spider.html
• Deitz, L., & Wallace, M. (Aug. 2011). Treehoppers: Aetalionidae, Melizoderidae, and Membracidae (Hemiptera). Insect Museum. Retrieved from http://treehoppers.insectmuseum.org/public/site/treehoppers/home
• Devil’s Flower Mantis. (2016). Keeping Insects: Caring for A Praying Mantis, Butterflies, Stick Insects and Beetles. Retrieved from http://www.keepinginsects.com/praying-mantis/species/devils-flower-mantis/
• Harness, J. (2016). The caterpillar that makes its own camouflage. Mental Floss. Retrieved from http://mentalfloss.com/article/30364/caterpillar-makes-its-own-camouflage
• Hercules Beetle. (2016). A-Z Animals. Retrieved from http://a-z-animals.com/animals/hercules-beetle/
• McClean, P. (1997). Darwin’s theory of evolution by natural selection. Population and Evolutionary Genetics. Retrieved from https://www.ndsu.edu/pubweb/~mcclean/plsc431/popgen/popgen5.htm
• Nathan, (2016). Wild Fact #413 – A neck above the rest – Giraffe Weevil (Madagascar). Wild Facts: Fun for All Animal Lovers. Retrieved from http://www.wild-facts.com/2011/wild-fact-413-a-neck-above-the-rest-giraffe-weevil-madagascar/
• Palermo, E. (2016). Dancing Peacock Spider is a web sensation. Live Science. Retrieved from http://www.livescience.com/51740-peacock-spider-dances.html 
• Prigg, M. (2012). All shook up: Photographer stunned to find bug with the face of Elvis on its back. Daily Mail. Retrieved from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2209360/The-king-Bizarre-bug-face-Elvis-back.html

The Yellow Wallpaper Syndrome: 8 Lessons I Learned About Writing from a “Parasitic Helpless Shriek Goblin"

to Oliver Assy: thank you

I used to be an economics major and I was pretty horrible at it. While budget deficits, inflation percentages, and tax rates didn’t seem to matter to me, there was one useful jargon I found worth remembering during this awfully long one-semester experience: Opportunity Costs. For those of you who, like me, don’t really care much for the capitalistic corporate world, opportunity costs simply mean a trade-off: it’s what you’re willing to give up or sacrifice in return for a greater gain or good. Up until recently, I never really knew how strenuous it could be for a person to have to be put in a situation where s/he has to weigh out two options against each other in the first place. But if there’s anything the past few weeks have taught me, it’s that the scale has to tip over to one side eventually, one way or the other.

It all started once I realized that my descent into madness – or rather my understanding of it – began with a simple book: Back when I was in grad school, I recall having read The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. In this short story, the author narrates in the first person point of view what happens to a woman who’s been somewhat impetuously diagnosed with “acute nervous depression” as she spirals even deeper into psychosis. Since she is forbidden from engaging in any kind of activity for fear that she could not handle it given her “situation,” the protagonist finds that the only way she could pass the time and entertain herself is by staring at a bizarre pattern on the wallpaper of the room she finds herself confined to. Slowly but surely, she inevitably goes insane as her containment eventually leads to her unfortunate demise.

Reading this, I wondered how fragile this woman must’ve been. Granted, this story reads like an implicit feminist manifesto speaking out against male patriarchy and societal gender roles, but surely, I thought to myself, a room can’t in and of itself push someone over the edge…can it? I, for one, didn’t think so until I experienced it myself by becoming a first-time mother. Interestingly enough, they tell you motherhood is the most wonderful experience any woman can go through. They tell you it will give your life meaning and purpose. They tell you that you will have many sleepless nights but one look at that little critter will make you forget all your pains and aches. What they don’t tell you, however, is that all of that – the good and the bad moments – will all take place in one | single | room: The baby’s room.

Being a 24/7 guardian of a clueless defenseless mini-extension of you really can drain you out of the last bit of energy you have (which wouldn’t be much anyway): It gets loud. It gets silent. Some days, this room suddenly feels like a football stadium. Other days, it’s a claustrophobic gym locker with each of the four walls gradually drawing in closer and closer; minute-by-minute and inch-by-inch. And just like that: I understood Gilman and immediately felt like I wanted to reach out and give her protagonist a giant hug. All things considered though, it’s worth mentioning that I do have one edge over Gilman’s character: While she lived in the 19th century, I, on the other hand have the privilege of having access to a 21rst century phone and laptop during this temporary “house-arrest” of mine. And with that luxury at my disposal, I am at liberty to use this technology as a vessel for communicating eight interesting lessons I learned about writing by observing my… (wait for it)… 3-week old son:

1) If it smells, it needs changing. Obviously, if something doesn’t quite feel in place, it most likely isn’t. Listen to your gut instincts any time you cringe because you’ve come across a situation that goes against what is normally supposed to happen. After all, it’s all about meeting the set requirements. That said, if somewhere along the lines, a blunder took place, roll up those sleeves of yours and invest in a bit of wiping and cleaning.

2) If it’s not broken, don’t fix it. I’ll be honest: that used to be a motto of mine long before my son became a pivotal part of my life. An additional lesson he taught me, however, was what consequences would inevitably arise once an individual ignored this simple – albeit useful ­– advice. In other words, if no further supplements were needed, yet one forced them in anyway, the superfluity would over-flood the entity. Similarly, if no changing was required but one went ahead and changed what s/he believed to be a messy residue, it would only aggravate the already very stressful situation and may even lead to crippling the tense circumstances all the more.

3) Write outside the lines. Not all farts are exclusively just farts; there sometimes may be a bit of poop there too – after all: there’s no smoke without fire, and no given rules are too golden to be broken. Yes, there are always standardized norms that one must respect and adhere to but understand that every piece is unique and you can’t be original in your work if all you ever do is conform to what everyone is expecting you to do.

4) It’s all about learning what sounds right. And if an individual is concerned mainly because s/he believes something sounds right to him/her but s/he isn’t sure as to whether it sounds right to others as well, that is when it becomes absolutely necessary to consult a second or third opinion: a specialist in the field.

5) Take pleasure in the little successes along the way. This is as applicable with regards to babies, as it is with the process of writing, and life in general. Those burps and farts might personally mean the world to you simply on accounts of the fact that you were able to make them happen even though they may seem utterly trifle to others. And that’s okay. That’s what learning to write is all about. A good writer is never a sell-out: A mature writer writes to please himself, not others.

6) Understand the sacrifices needed to get it right. Back to our discussion about opportunity costs: Now some days, that means you will barely get an hour or two of sleep until the work is done. Other days, it will be at the expense of your shower, lunch, or both. Deciding that this is a priority means that there will be days that the task at hand will have you nailed to that bed with ruffled hair, residual ungargled toothpaste, and disheveled flannels and pjs looking like a decaying corpse and feeling like a decaying corpse about to die a second painful death then return back to the grave. You simply cannot worry about details at this point. You don’t have time to anyway. 

7) Eliminating self-doubt begins with…well, the self. Sure, many times, there will be red flags alerting you that something is wrong. But many other times, you might nervously raid everything in sight only to discover that you simply cannot understand what has caused the situation to fall apart though it is obviously evident that things are quite problematic at the moment the way that they are. When that happens, there’s actually nothing you can do, but rather only one thing you should never do: blame yourself. If you’re diligently trying to mitigate things and the situation is simply not improving, be patient and take solace in the fact that you’re doing all you can. Emotional support from a loved one and possibly narcotics (unless you’re breastfeeding) become incredibly helpful at this point. 

8) There are no guarantees. It personally took me a long time to make peace with this last one. Though it’s something most people don’t want to hear, it’s true. And the sooner people accept it, ironically, the happier and more stress-free they’ll become. The only other way I can put this is by saying: learn to accept and deal with the curve balls you come across in your professional, social, and personal writing space. So basically, live with the fact that you could be: A) a total mess who still somehow manages to have things turn out okay; or B) a perfectionist who painstakingly pays careful attention to every little detail and yet still ends up screwing things up anyway. That said, keep in mind that uncertainty shouldn’t drive you away, but rather simply drive you. If faced with courage, you’ll soon come to notice that the unpredictable nature of things may very well make the process of “getting there” all the more exciting rather than frightening. After all, it’s all about maintaining a positive attitude. 

In a sense, I guess you could say that this little “parasitic helpless shriek goblin” of mine (ominously dubbed so by my best friend Philip) ended up teaching me a lot more about writing than I ever expected he could (which I suppose is saying a lot since I wasn’t actually expecting he’d teach me anything at all to begin with). Yellow Wallpaper Syndrome? Not a chance.

A Block of All Kinds

to my loving husband and son,
to Jean and Oliver Assy

Shortly after I started writing this blog post, I realized that I have absolutely nothing to write about. I erased, wrote, and rewrote numerous lines here and there, and even deleted and restored the file a couple of times frustratingly blaming my lack of coherence on an insomniatic series of sleepless nights (I guess I arrogantly figured I could get away with that excuse since most writers are overthinking night owls anyway). As for when I finally felt well-rested and still found myself absent-mindedly staring at my blank laptop screen, I then tried to justify my lack of productivity by blaming it on the overall tedious process of writing that distressed me and made me tongue – or rather – finger-tied. Basically, there are many different ways I can go about describing what I felt and why it is that I felt that way, but the ultimate bottom line is this: I was suffering from writer’s block. So of course, I did what any sensible person would do: Amidst my writer’s block, I decided to write about writer’s block.

For the first time in my life, I put my procrastinating super-powers to good use. And that’s when the nebulous idea for this post slowly but surely began to form in my mind: What if one were to analyze the nature and complexity of different kinds of blocks? To begin with, Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary (n.d.) defines a block as an “interruption or cessation especially of train of thought by competing thoughts or psychological suppression.” In fact, the term has often been utilized in various multidisciplinary fields to mean: (1) in biology: an obstruction in one of the vital body organs/functions; (2) in sports: a defensive way to prevent the opposing team from infiltrating the home team and taking control; and most importantly (3) in literature: the inability to think of ideas for any writing-related project one is working on (Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary, n.d.).

That said, the one common factor in all such cases of “blockage” seems to be the simple fact that the core objective of the person dealing with this hindrance remains the same: trying to circumvent the obstacle and attempt to move on irrespective of – and indifferent to – whatever hurdle is holding the individual back. However, what I’ve observed lately is that writers often struggle simply because they handle the situation pessimistically. Rather than focusing on what ideas are being blocked out, aspiring writers instead tend to agonize over the scarcity of ideas being blocked in. This tiny detail becomes all the more interesting once people understand that life works that way too: sometimes, the possibility of a continuity rests entirely on the type of wall a person either creates or destroys.

On a more personal note, I can honestly testify: it’s no easy feat. I come from a broken family and the damage caused by every member of my family is one that still continues to traumatize me to this day. I never met my uncles, aunts, cousins, grandmothers and grandfathers because of internal family feuds. I never had the big Christmas dinner with the extended family. And, it was only recently that I learned that there is a difference between the two Arabic terms “عم” and “خال” (where “عم” refers to the brother of the father, and “خال” refers to the brother of mother) which I previously used to use interchangeably simply because I never had a relationship neither with my “عم” nor with my “خال” so I always just figured both meant “uncle” in the general sense, as is the norm in the English language. In all cases, having to deal with numerous dysfunctional family relationships, my motto for a long time became “hang in there, it’ll get better.” But when the situation didn’t magically improve as I had desperately hoped it would, I finally accepted the reality that the nature and character of all my family members was different than mine and that the way they think was not at all similar to the way I think. And then it happened again: I began experiencing numerous kinds of mental and emotional blocks after repetitive fights with them. Once I became aware that the lifestyle they envisioned for me was not the lifestyle I envisioned for myself, I was left with only one way to overcome the roadblocks they were setting up for me: I moved out. I took on three jobs to be able to afford rent. And each time I would liberate myself from their abusive grip, my mother, father, or brother would always be somewhere in the background trying, to the best of their capabilities, to find some method by which they could manipulate their way back into my life. Against my better judgment, I would always forgive, forget, and open the door for reconciliations only to find myself back in the gutter ditched, disappointed, and as always: unable to move forward from the total mental shutdown.

And this is when I decided to think optimistically for a change. The second I was able to assert that the existence of these people in my life had a detrimental effect on my ability to function as a sentient human being, I reached for that “B” button and said goodbye, once and for all, to my toxic past. That term that I had come to dread for so long became the term that paved the way (with hot burning coals as bricks) to my new free and independent life. I’d be lying if I said that the ghosts totally disappeared since then, but I bid farewell to a new one each and every single day as I am reminded always by Frost’s pedantic gentle verses: “Before I built a wall I’d ask to know/ What I was walling in or walling out,/ And to whom I was like to give offence.” With that in mind, I guess you could say that all in all, I’ve learned that when it comes to all kinds of blocks, it’s never a neat division, and the process requires multiple revisions. Then again, sometimes, knowing what not to include in one’s private space – be they words, ideas, or even people ­­– becomes as equally important (if not more important) than knowing just what to include.

References

• Block. (n.d.). In Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary. Retrieved from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/block